I have had a struggle most of my life with manic depression . . . being diagnosed in my early teens but never really treated for the disorder until my late 20's. I first started on anti depressants in my mid twenties, which did little to alleviate the highs and lows that I was experiencing. By the time I was in my thirties I had been given many different kinds of pills in a multitude of combinations to 'FIX' me with yet worsening affects. I was in and out of psychiatric wards regularly toward the end of the nineties. I couldn't seem to stay out longer then a few months at a time all the while wondering how long would I be able to 'get by' until the next time I would be placed back in the hospital. Not only my mental health was deteriorating but my physical health was failing me as well.

By the year 2000 I was no longer functioning. I couldn't take care of my children or myself. The doctors I saw at the mental health clinic had me on five different kinds of pills at the same time and were trying to put me on number six.

I had had enough. This was NOT living, or even existing. I was a walking zombie incapable of anything. I went off all the pills and decided it was time to end the pain. I got things in order as best I could and made arrangements for my daughter to be taken care of and I was going to end the misery for myself and for everyone around me.

I was saying goodbye to a friend when her and her husband told me about some vitamin supplement they had read about in the local paper. They said it may be the answer to making a difference in my life. They approached Truehope on my behalf. I did not give in willingly to this. I could not fathom anything getting better. Finally after days of them convincing me I agreed to try it. I DID NOT believe it would change anything, in my mind I was humoring them. I hadn't changed my plan just adjusted the time table a bit.

Those first few weeks of being on Empowerplus and waiting to finish what I had started were excruciating. I was still not capable of taking care of myself. I merely was fulfilling my promise to take the supplement for six weeks, then I could complete my plan of suicide.

Toward the end of the six weeks something changed, not drastically but there was something tangible. Life didn't look quite so bleak. It was not a speedy process for me. It was very gradual. Slowly but surely I could see a little light at the end of the tunnel. This progressed steadily with the help of the wonderful people at Truehope who listened to me and monitored my progression over the last 2 1/2 years. They provided the Empowerplus for me, for free under the perpetual health fund that they have established. They have continued to keep in touch with me and answered any issues that I have had all along the way. Without Empowerplus and the compassion and support from Truehope. I would be DEAD!

Today I CHOOSE to LIVE! I have a full time job, I can take care of myself and my family. I feel very normal. I don't have bouts of depression anymore. Friends that stuck with me through those terrible years see the complete change in me. They would be more than happy to tell you about it if you cared to ask them.

I am very angry that Health Canada is threatening my stability. My ability to function day to day. I have never felt as well in my life and I resent that Anne McLellan and the Ministry of Health thinks they can make these kinds of choices on my behalf to take it all away. I have not asked the government to fund my recovery, Truehope has given it to me. Free of charge, without reservation. Health Canada wants to protect me from what? Being well?


Edmonton, Alberta